The Failure Mindset: How to overcome it.
By Abdul Rahman Mohammed
The Failure Mindset. Does failure stop your motives? Do you think being labelled as a failure is like the worst thing that can happen to you and, do you feel the need to get everything just perfect before stepping into a brand-new situation? If you said yes to those questions, you’re in the right place.
Many successful people have failed at many things in life, from friendships to jobs to exams to starting their own business and sometimes even learning new skills.
Here are some tips and suggestions that you can use to change this mindset.
For example, if you fail in school, your parents could have reminded you every single day that you had to study and that failure was not an option.
Quite early on in childhood, we form this unhealthy relationship with failure.
We look at failure as something that we should avoid rather than looking at it as a part of success.
The very First step in overcoming Failure Mindset is that
“You change the relationship you have with failure“
How do we do that?
Here is an example: let say you wanted to improve your relationship with your girlfriend or your boyfriend or your spouse, and you went to a relationship coach asking them: “how do I improve my relationship?”.
The chances are that your coach might say that one of the best ways to improve your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend is, spend more time with her son in the same way if you want to change and improve your relationship with failure.
Moreover, it’s only fair to say that you need to spend more time with and here’s how you do it. Start asking yourself every single day what did I fail at today and write down all those failures in your notebook in your journal every single day.
Experiment and dare yourself to fail at something every single day.
Write it in your notebook because what’s going to happen is after few weeks, you look at your notes, and you’ll see your entries from day one and what you will realize is that things you were afraid of on the first day no longer bother you.
Thus, you will start building courage. You will begin building resilience, and eventually, you will get to a point where failures do not stop you anymore.
The Second suggestion to overcome failure is that
“Pay attention to How you define success in your life.”
Do you define success as black or white? As if you’re either on the top of; or you’re at the bottom? If that is your definition of success, you will find it much harder to overcome the failure mindset.
Now to contrast, if you base your success on, let’s say: the last three months on questions like how much did I grow in the past three months? What do I know today that I did not know three months ago? What new things did I try in the past three months? When you start gauging your success, you will be stopped by failures a lot less.
The next step to overcome Failure Mindset is that
“Fall in love with failures”
I know it is a bit extreme. But actually, it’s pretty practical. You can predict the outcome of every single action that you will take.
You are only operating in the realm of what you know, and the failure does not reside in that realm. Failure resides in the unknown, and if you fail at something: it means that you tried something new and not many people do that.
The simple fact that you dared, the simple fact that you stepped into the unknown, is a reason alone to celebrate it.
Chances are, if you struggle with failure, you might also fight against perfectionism.
Next Powerful tool for overcoming failure is that you ask yourself the
“so what?” question
What if you fail and, as you reflect on this question, you’ll start to get present to your limiting beliefs?
When did you start asking yourself this question: “so, what if I fail?”.
If I fail, I would have to start all over again. If I lose again, it will just suck, and once we become aware of our limiting beliefs, the next is to change them.
Every time you think about how failure would be a blow to your ego. Thus, remind yourself that you are a spirit having a human experience.
It’s so obvious, but sometimes we are so unconscious to our thoughts, to our beliefs. Also, it really makes an effort to interrupt that normal mode of thinking and choose something different.
As you start to become aware of your limiting patterns or your limiting beliefs, then you have the power to change.
To sum up, you have to be very conscious about yourself while going through Failure. Take failures as steps on the ladder that help you achieve success. Thus, don’t forget to enjoy the process while reflecting upon yourself. Moreover, stay Positive and keep improving and improvising.
“ Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”Winston Churchill.